As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I would ride that face into the sunset
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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