More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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