hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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