Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
