As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
