She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
