um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
