you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
