32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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