Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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