i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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