okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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