Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize