Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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