Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
