...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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