Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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