You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
