THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
