I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
