Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
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It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
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States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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