Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
