That's intense
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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