What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
