So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
