Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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