Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I understand Curling. That high.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
