is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
