So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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