Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize