I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
