and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
