Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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