I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
