He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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