ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
