Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
As shirtless as possible
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
