Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
