i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize