no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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