Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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