Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
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