Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I looked at my own cervix.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
