Don't make out with my wife yet
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
