Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
