Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
