I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
