i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can't turn off my feet"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
