i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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