Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
