Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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