Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Damn victory sex feels great
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
