just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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