Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
