There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
