Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
