i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
