Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize