i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
